Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize