the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
