I want to walk on stilts...naked
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
