I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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