ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
