Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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