Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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