yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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