I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
