He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just blew my weed a kiss
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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