Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Come see our sink grown plant.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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