So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize