i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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