Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have feelings that need drinking.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
