Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
