I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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