Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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