it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
