also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
