They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
