remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
