I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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