I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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