i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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