He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
