New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
