i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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