3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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