you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
