I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
