Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
