and you said cock pushups were impossible
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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