Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
