I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize