Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
