Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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