You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
