3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
