absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
