just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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