Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
