And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Randomize
