she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
