You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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