maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
