I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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