The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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