Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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(613): View more from Ontario

She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.

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(757): View more from Virginia

you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.

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(949): View more from California

You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.

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