he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
