The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
