i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The best revenge is premature balding
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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