I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
