Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We had sex on a dog bed..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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