Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
