I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize