so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
